Journey to Parenthood: Sarah & Mike's Story
My name is Sarah and I am a 31 year old preschool teacher living in Auckland, New Zealand with my 37 year old husband Michael. Mike and I met through a friend in 2010 and have been married since 2018. In 2012 Mike was diagnosed with testicular cancer. They thought it might have been caught fairly early and operated to remove a testicle. Unfortunately a couple of months later it had returned requiring him to undergo chemotherapy. At this point we froze some sperm as we were told we would most likely struggle to fall pregnant naturally in the future.
Fast forward to 2018 we decided to start trying around the time of our wedding. We went to the doctors to have initial checks done and were told we would have to try for a year before we became eligible for fertility funding. We then had our appointment in January 2020 and were told the waiting list for treatment was a year long and we had to meet certain criteria (BMI in a certain range etc) A couple of months before I had joined F45 (functional 45 minute fitness) with a friend and had lost 12kg in 8 weeks. Turns out this just put me within the acceptable range. This was great news as I had joined the gym to try to get a bit healthier, not realizing the impact it would have on our fertility journey.
Throughout 2020 Mike had a few more tests where each time we were told he no longer had any natural fertility. It wasn’t until our final appointment prior to starting treatment that we got the best news… he had regained some natural fertility! What a feeling. We didn’t want to get our hopes up too much as it was less than 1%. This meant we were to undergo a step up from IVF called ICSI to improve our chances of having a successful pregnancy. During the year I had continued at F45. It was the best distraction for me and it got me to the best place I have ever been in physically and mentally. Leading up to treatment I felt so hopeful and knew I had done everything in my power to give us the best chance of it working.
We started the injections and had our egg retrieval in April 2021. It was a bit of a miracle but from Mike’s sample we ended up with 2 viable embryos – we didn’t have to use any of the frozen sperm. One embryo was inserted after 3 days of fertilization; the other made it to day 5 and is currently frozen for us.
We got the best phone call of our lives on Friday 23rd April. We were PREGNANT! We had my Mum and Dad round for dinner that night. I had put a bun in the oven for Mum to find when I asked her to check on the dinner. I can’t keep a secret so we told most of our family and friends straight away – lots of excited phone calls were made that weekend.
I had a really cruisy first trimester apart from the fatigue – that was a feeling like no other! I would come home from being with preschoolers for 8 hours, have an hour nap while my amazing husband cooked dinner. I would wake up, eat then go back to sleep until the morning. Thankfully I didn’t get any morning sickness or any other symptoms. Mike and I decided we wanted to keep the babies sex a surprise till birth. The anticipation drove our family and friends crazy! I had a preferred girls name in mind prior to falling pregnant, so from the start I had always felt she was a girl. But when we had finally settled on a boy’s name when I was 6 months pregnant, from there the possibility of a boy felt equally real and I was excited to meet whomever they would be.
During our second trimester we were meant to be going to our good friend’s wedding in Queenstown which we also turned into our babymoon. We arrived a few days before the wedding and had a wonderful time exploring the beautiful South Island. Two nights before the wedding NZ went into a sudden level 4 Covid lockdown. It was a scramble to get home as air travel was shutting down. We managed to get a new booking on the last flight home before the Auckland border closed.
I spent my third trimester teaching from home – making fun videos for my class and doing online group times. It was a special time in which I enjoyed the slower pace, being off my feet more and watching my bump grow knowing we were safe and sound at home.
Christmas and the New Year came and went as did my due date – the 30th of December. I had a stretch and sweep after 40 weeks with no signs of baby coming, and then a second stretch and sweep at 40+6. There wasn’t much change so I decided to go get reflexology – at least a foot massage would be nice and relaxing. Things kicked off not long after that. Contractions started and were 30 seconds long every minute and a half. The tens machine was an amazing distraction and we spent the afternoon on the couch – we watched The Notebook and tried to get as much rest as we could as my midwife said it was early days.
While finishing dinner I felt and heard a loud POP – my waters had broken. I jumped in the shower and realized it looked like it may have had meconium in it. So after some discussion with our midwife, we headed off to the hospital at 10pm for monitoring. Contractions were still very much the same at that stage, and I was smiling away and chatting through most of them. I thought after monitoring we might have been sent home. I was checked shortly after we arrived at the hospital and I was dilated to 3cm.
Mike was the most amazing support to me during the whole birth experience, even if I was telling him not to touch me and to leave me alone. At one point I went to hide in the toilet in the dark – he snuck in and got the most hilarious photo of me huffing and puffing on the gas looking like I’m about to climb the walls! Within the hour I had then reached 8-9cm. I was transitioning faster than I expected, and was starting to feel a little out of control. The birthing pool wasn’t available for us at the time, and the gas and air felt like it had no positive effect for me. Everything was just happening so quickly. I was uncomfortable, and felt like I just wasn’t getting any break in between contractions and before I knew it was time to start pushing.
I pushed for a couple of hours but babies head kept slipping back up in between contractions as they weren’t long or strong enough to push her down. Baby started to get tired and a bit stressed with the heartrate dropping after each push. More medical professionals came in to monitor me and the question was raised of taking me in for an emergency c section as it was becoming the less risky option in their opinions. I had always hoped for a natural delivery, but at that stage I was so tired and just wanted my baby to arrive safely. Once the epidural was administered I was able to relax and became so overwhelmed and excited just knowing we were only minutes away from meeting our baby.
At 410am on Thursday 6th January our beautiful baby was born. The surgeon lifted her up for Mike to see and he told me we had a girl. We named her Isabella Joy (Joy after Mike’s late Mum). Our hearts were so full and we couldn’t have been happier. She was happy and healthy and the c section had gone smoothly. Even though it wasn’t the birth I had imagined, it is still so special and at the end of the day we were all taken such good care of.
After one night in hospital we moved to the Helensville birthing centre where we had so much support in learning how to feed and just spend that special time as a family of 3 getting to know our girl with no interruptions.
What a ride! I loved pregnancy and I now love being a Mum even more and seeing Mike as a Dad. It truly is the best feeling in the world.
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